is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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