Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
