I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
