i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
