Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
