I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
