You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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