She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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