so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
