On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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