did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
