We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
