the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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