I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
