If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
