69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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