He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
