Soap is not a condiment
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
