I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
