CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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