I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
