Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
