theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
