So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
