About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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