I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
