watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
