What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
