I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
