After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
