i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize