New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
