dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
