There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
