All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
