Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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