This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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