ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
