you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
