i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
