After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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