I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
