I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
