Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize