you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
