While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
