I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
