I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
