Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
