He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize