false alarm. still invincible.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
