so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
