can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You don't make any sense
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