what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
