That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
