i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
