i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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