Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I have peed in a lot of sinks
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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