I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
