you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
